I know I’ve been the hardest to love.

The past few months I’ve been working on me, baby.
I know I’ve been the hardest to love.

And the truth is… you never asked for anything impossible.
You just wanted my attention.
You just wanted my affection.
You wanted me to love you the way you deserved, and I didn’t.

When it came to all these distractions, I never really had to chase anything.
But this world is such an evil place sometimes, and I let myself get consumed by it.
When I was on the liquor, I went crazy, and I let my impulses control me instead of protecting the person I loved.
And somewhere in all that chaos, I became someone that kept hurting the person who was trying to love me right.

You were never asking me to be perfect.
You were asking me to choose you consistently.
And I failed at that.

I still remember when we first met, and I joked that we looked a little like Abel and Bella.
Back then I only meant it as something silly and superficial. I never thought our story would end up feeling strangely similar too — beautiful, painful, self-destructive at times… full of love, mistakes, and realizing certain things only when it’s already too late.

You were always the calm inside my chaos, and I treated your love like it would always be there.

Now I look back and realize I loved you with fear, ego, and immaturity instead of honesty and peace.
I didn’t love you like I should have.

And maybe that’s the hardest part of all this — realizing it’s too late.
Because now you’ve made up your mind, and I can feel that I’m out of time.

I still love you, girl.
I know I said I’d be there for you, that I’d care for you, but I became the exact opposite of what you needed from me.
And maybe I’m too late to make things right.

But even if this ends here, I needed you to know something real for once:
losing you forced me to face the man I was becoming and confront parts of myself I kept avoiding for a long time.

Not because I want another chance, but because I finally understood what your love was trying to teach me.

If life ever gives us another conversation someday, I hope you meet a version of me that finally knows how to love correctly.
The version you deserved from the beginning.